


Come Back To Me

by KayJayTeal



Category: Game of Thrones (TV), jaime lannister/brienne of tarth - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, F/M, Friendship/Love, Implied Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister, Memories, My First Fanfic, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:08:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25800355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayJayTeal/pseuds/KayJayTeal
Summary: It had been moons since Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth parted outside Kings Landing. Now they stand in front of each other in the middle of a Lannister & Frey siege at Riverrun, both with pleas to make and words unsaid. Not feelings, though. They always communicated better with their eyes than their words.A slightly canon-divergent imagining of their thoughts as they negotiate how to convince the Blackfish to give up his ancestral home and turn his attention to his niece's cause.For the JB Fic Exchange 2020.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 42
Kudos: 101
Collections: Jaime x Brienne Fic Exchange 2020





	Come Back To Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CelticPixie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticPixie/gifts).



> For the prompt: An alternative version to the Riverrun scene (NSFW is optional)
> 
> Apologies to CelticPixie for the lack of an E rating. This is my first fic and going straight to smut was too much of a reach. (If you haven’t read Always Yours https://archiveofourown.org/works/24357577 by ChocoNut yet, that one delivers!) I aimed for sweeter with mine, a kind of fix-it with some borrowed lines and some new dialogue. It’s mostly show canon with a little divergence.
> 
> Thank you to the JB Fix Exchange organizers for the push. Thank you to NightReaderEnigma for being my beta reader and biggest cheerleader. You know your stories are some of my favorites. Thank you to all the writers whose beautiful words inspired me to give it a shot. You are queens and I appreciate you to my soul.

It had been moons since Brienne had laid eyes on Jaime Lannister. Ser Jaime, she insisted on addressing him, to herself and others. She had to think of him that way – as the knight he was – sworn to duty as she was. There could be nothing else. Duty. Honor. Oaths.

But Brienne felt her heart seize when she saw him from her mount on top of the hill. Propriety fell away in an instant. All the scenarios she imagined for when she saw him again were suddenly silly. Brienne had pictured Jaime standing in shock or silently pleased, his green eyes dancing and mouth spread in a wide smile, upon hearing she had reunited Sansa and Arya.

He was moving in her field of vision now, not in her memory or her dreams. No longer a mirage, Ser Jaime was a knight in full armor, more handsome than Brienne remembered. He moved toward her astride a white horse, no less. All the fantasies she harbored of lying next to him for more than warmth or survival vanished like smoke in the air. Focus on the task at hand, she thought. For Sansa.

Brienne inhaled deeply and let her breath out slowly. She expected to be intercepted by Brynden Tully’s men, not Lannister soldiers staging a siege against his island castle. It could be worse. At least Jaime was a kind of friend. They had helped each other before. Brienne was confident he would understand her mission and allow her to speak with Lord Tully now.

Then she was standing in front of him, determined not to let him see her tremble, willing herself to breathe, telling herself it would all work out. Jaime appeared to be in disbelief, as well. One of his guards had ridden up to announce them with Brienne and Podrick right behind, surrounded by Lannister men. It gave their leader little time to react with anything other than open-mouthed surprise.

Brienne bit her tongue to keep from smiling at the sight of Jaime’s visage, fuller than when she saw him last, and strong. His eyes were warm and his mouth open in what she interpreted as joyful. _I’m a familiar face. He’s happy that I’m in one piece to return his sword. He will be pleased to hear news of Sansa._ Anything was surely better than thinking about the siege he was in the middle of. Jaime lifted the tent flap with his gold hand and waved his left arm to beckon her inside.

“Find some food and water, Pod,” she said with a nod. “Stay close. We won’t be here long.”

“Yes, m’lady,” Pod answered.

Brienne brushed past Jaime, catching a whiff of his sweat and leather doublet as she went, but stopped just inside the tent. There was no time to get comfortable. No time to tell him of the men she’d killed, Stannis included, or ask him what he was doing here. She refused his offer of wine and bread.

“Did you stumble upon our little gathering by chance or did you hope to find the Stark girls holed up with their great uncle?” Jaime asked in jest.

Brienne steeled herself. There was the man she remembered. Arrogant. Mocking.

“We found Sansa,” she said tightly. “She’d been forced to wed and tortured by Ramsay Bolton. She has been reunited with her brother – ”

“I never thought you’d find her,” Jaime cut in, with wonder in his voice. “I just assumed Sansa was dead.”

More than anything, his doubt jarred her, dousing her memories in icy water.

Equally incredulous, Brienne responded. “Why would you assume that?”

“In my experience, girls like her don’t live very long,” he responded dismissively.

Brienne kept eye contact with him as her tone turned hostile. He would not insult her liege lady. “I don’t think you know many girls like her,” she responded stonily.

Jaime spoke without hesitation. “Well I’m proud of you. I am. You fulfilled your oath to Catelyn Stark against all odds.”

Brienne’s head moved back a fraction in surprise. She had been trying to commit Jaime’s features to memory, soaking in his clean-shaven jaw, the jut of his scarred chin, the length of his slightly greying hair. Now she couldn’t meet his eyes as he praised her. He wouldn’t be so proud if he knew how often she thought of him smiling at her brighter than he was now. Ser Jaime was a real man, not a thought. Brienne was certain he would cringe at the thought of kissing her, but her imagination often took her there. She looked down, trying to center on anything but his kind words and handsome face. _Focus_ , she chided herself. _Pretty words, that’s all. He’ll say something cold in a moment._

“Of course, my sister wants Sansa dead,” Jaime continued. _There it is._ Brienne lifted her eyes to watch him walk around the table. “Girl’s still a suspect in Joffrey’s murder so there is that … complication.”

He stopped at the head of the table. They faced each other, just a few steps apart, with no wood furniture between them. His tone didn’t match his words, she realized. He sounded like he was teasing, but Brienne knew Cersei’s cruelty was no joke. She’d been a victim of it herself. Maybe it was Brienne’s wishful thinking, believing Jamie would help. He was commander of the Lannister forces, but he continued to do the queen’s bidding. Still, they are so familiar to each other. He didn’t seem upset with Brienne. Not cruel, either. She met his eyes and swallowed.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked softly, shaking his head.

 _Wanting you_ , she thought, even as her official purpose was the one she gave voice to. “I’ve come for the Blackfish,” she said steadily.

Jaime moved his arms slightly in exasperation. “You’re welcome to have him.”

Feeling more confident, Brienne further stated her mission. “Lady Sansa desires to take her ancestral seat back from the Boltons and assume her rightful position as lady of Winterfell.”

“And she sent you to persuade her uncle and his men to come to her aid?” Jaime had been fidgeting with the end of his tunic, but he looked up with those skeptical green eyes as he finished his statement.

Brienne’s mouth fell open, but she kept her eyes on him as she responded flatly. “Yes. The Tully army would be a surprise and an imitable power.”

Almost before she finished, Jaime said quietly, “They’re a bit occupied at the moment. “ _I_ was sent here to reclaim Riverrun currently defended by the Tully rebels,” he added as he scrunched his nose. “So you can see the conundrum.”

Confounding man. Brienne finally left his gaze, closing her eyes before taking a slightly snarky tone herself.

“The Tullys are rebels because they’re fighting for their home!” It’s almost a question more than a statement, to make him realize the ridiculousness of his stance.

“Riverrun was granted to the Freys by royal decree,” Jaime argued.

“As a reward for betraying Robb Stark and slaughtering his family!” Brienne countered angrily.

“Exactly,” he answered harshly.

They stood looking at each other in silence for a moment, the sound of soldiers bantering or sparring from afar outside. Later, Brienne realized that neither of them were happy with the direction the conversation has gone. He looked miserable and she hated conflict, especially with him. The mood went from mildly contentious to solidly combative. She had to make him see reason. Verbal sparring was never her strength. Brienne searched for an answer that would satisfy both sides. She wanted to be sure, not put forth an idea that would draw scorn. His presence rattled her.

Jaime turned away in mild disgust. “We shouldn’t argue about politics,” he spat.

“You’re a knight, Ser Jaime,” Brienne stated, almost pleading with him to remember as she watched him walk back around the table. “I know there is honor in you.”

He kept his head down. Now he didn’t know what to say. Brienne wondered when he was last given credit for something noble. He stopped directly across from her, the table between them. He never could be still. She was grateful he put some distance between them for a moment.

“I’ve seen it myself –"

Jaime cut her off. “I’m a Lannister. Don’t ask me to betray my own house.”

“I do no such thing.” She turned forceful. His eyes remained trained on her, which continued to unnerve Brienne. She couldn’t let him see it, though.

“Take Riverrun without bloodshed. Ride south again with your mission complete and your army intact.” _That’s really what this is about, isn’t it? What it’s always about – getting back to Cersei._ Her head knew even if Brienne felt her heart betrayed her. She didn’t have time to feel a pang of jealousy. She steeled herself.

“What do you propose?” Jaime questioned her.

“Allow me to enter Riverrun under a flag of truce. Let me try to persuade the Blackfish to give up the castle.”

Brienne saw him look away, roll his head, seemingly dismissing her suggestion. But he tried to work out the plan with her.

“Why would he abandon his ancestral home?”

“Because you’ll allow him to lead the Tully forces safely North,” Brienne insisted. “You have this one surrounded. But he can still be of use to his sister’s daughter, who needs his guidance and support. You’ll allow him to lead the Tully forces safely North after he concedes Riverrun to the Freys.”

# # #

Jaime didn’t know what to say. He’d already tried to bargain with Brynden Tully, but maybe Brienne would have better luck. _She’s so determined. So strong._ Perhaps Brynden would appreciate that. Catelyn Stark been forceful, too, after all. He might see some of his sister in Brienne. “Have you ever met the Blackfish?”

Brienne stayed rigid, but she looked away, her mouth open. “No.”

“He’s even more stubborn than you are.” Jaime is relieved his words sound like a compliment instead of an insult. At least, he hoped so. Brienne has had enough insults in her life, from him included. No, he meant that as a compliment, even a back-handed one. If anyone could get through to the Blackfish, it would be Brienne. Jaime saw her flailing so he finished his thought and his pacing around the table.

“Alright. Try to talk some sense into the old goat. He won’t listen, but his men might. Not everyone wants to die for someone else’s home.”

He faced her again and she turned to him.

“I need your word. If I persuade him to abandon the castle, you’ll grant us safe passage North.” His word was always good enough for her. She was the only one. He nodded in agreement. Would that he could ride with them himself. Brynden doesn’t trust him, though. He called Jaime a disappointment today. Offering to escort him and his men to Winterfell wouldn’t be accepted, even if Jaime told him it was to repay a debt to Lady Catelyn or Brienne. Hells, she probably wouldn’t believe him, either.

“You have my word.” Before he had thought it out completely, Jaime heard himself say, “And I would have yours.”

“Mine?” Brienne asked quietly, evenly. “What am I to promise in return? I have returned one of Lady Catelyn’s daughters, as we swore to do, and have encountered the other. She escaped, but she’s out there.”

Jaime gaped, speechless. How did she always manage to surprise him? He wanted to hear about Arya and what Brienne has been doing since he saw her last. She had caught him off-guard for the third time in a short time period. She saw his astonishment. “Yes, Arya lives. Or did. I will find her again. I swear it.”

Jaime stepped forward, right into her space. He couldn’t stand to feign nonchalance anymore. He moved quickly. He hadn’t totally thought out what to say, only putting pieces together as if from the recesses of his brain. He didn’t want her to charge out of his tent and out of his life again. He moved quickly, trailed his index finger from her wrist to the middle of her palm and intertwined their digits, keeping his eyes on her magnificent blue eyes as he did.

“Come back to me,” he breathed, watching her eyes go wider a breath away. Jaime swallowed and spoke up a bit. “If he agrees, come tell me yourself and I will escort you both to Sansa Stark. I can question her on my own, on behalf of the kingdom. If she had nothing to do with Joffrey’s murder, as I suspect, I’ll help the Tullys take back Winterfell for her. You and I have a debt to pay the Boltons, after all.”

A corner of his mouth curved up at that and he was pleased to see Brienne lips curl into half a smile, too. It’s the most pleasant reaction he’d ever gotten out of her, a tight-lipped attempt. It made him feel hopeful.

“And if he refuses?”

Jaime exhaled through his nose. “He’d be a fool to resist you, wench.”

Brienne gave him a look that conveyed her exasperation. Jaime dipped his head slightly in concession.

“When he refuses … I do not wish to take up arms against you. Get yourself and your squire out of here. I’ll take the castle and hold the Blackfish as hostage. Once captured, perhaps he’ll see reason more clearly. They won’t accept Lannister help after this, but I am willing to escort them as far as I’m able towards Winterfell. We can … catch up.”

Even to his ears, it rang false. Brienne didn’t say anything immediately. She looked confused. Ponderous. Did she doubt him? It wasn’t up to him though, was it? The Blackfish had to cooperate and the old knight never did. Jaime willed Brienne to agree with him as moved his thumb over her dry knuckles, imploring her with his eyes. She had closed her fingers around his hand loosely. She was warm. After a moment, she squeezed his hand and slowly brought it up to rest on the armor over her heart. She placed her right hand over his left.

“You have my word that I will do anything in my power to come to your aid, as you have mine,” Brienne said. “We seem destined to be on opposing sides of these battles. I pray it will not always be such. It has been good to see you, Jaime.”

 _My name. Not Ser or Kingslayer._ He wanted to stay there like that, safe and whole in her eyes. Let the Tullys and Freys and Starks fend for themselves while he and his warrior stood together. She had come and saved him, whether she realized it or not. He didn’t want to be here – insulted by Brynden Tully, forced to step in and save Edmure Tully in the event he might be of some use. It had been so long since he had someone to talk to. So long since he had the comfort and confidence of her gaze. He wanted the moment to last.

All too soon, Brienne tapped his hand with her fingers and slid their hands down the side of her armor. She started fumbling with her sword belt. Jaime could see what she was doing and though she didn’t meet his eyes, he took a step back and looked at her in disbelief. As if. He would never take Oathkeeper back. But there she was, looking him in the eye and holding it away from her. It was unnatural. It should always be at her hip.

“You gave it to me for a purpose. I have achieved that purpose.”

He would not take it. Would not even move to touch it. He nodded once and peered up at her, hoping she would understand when he said quietly, “It’s yours. It will always be yours.”

Brienne didn’t move at first. Jaime hoped his tone and his eyes told her what he couldn’t utter. The sword was a gift. The sword, his might, his heart goes with her.

 _Yes. My heart._ How many times did he pray to the Father to give her strength? To the Warrior to help her fight? To the Stranger to allow her to stay alive?

Jaime attempted to look as serious as she did. Brienne gave him a nod and strapped Oathkeeper back around her waist. Jaime released the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. The Blackfish could choke on the sword for all Jaime cared. He wanted her to have it, a piece of him wherever she went.

Jaime swallowed, watched her move, seemingly in slow motion. He hoped she understood. He wanted to keep her with him, saying his name, looking at him fondly. None of that came out. He didn’t know how to ask, knew he couldn’t. She moved toward the entrance. He followed. _I should always go with her._

“One last thing Ser Jaime,” she said as she turned to face him. 

“Yes, Lady Brienne,” he returned. Always so proper, his wench. He tried to lighten the mood, to make her smile before she went off on a fool’s errand.

“I don’t want to fight you either,” Brienne said softly. “I can’t imagine raising Oathkeeper against you. But I have to return to Sansa, with or without the Blackfish. She needs me.”

 _I need you_ , Jaime thought. The idea did not surprise him. She looked the way he felt – sad. He was reminded of Myrcella. He wanted to embrace Brienne like he did his daughter before she took her last breath. Brienne knew nothing of that, of how Myrcella was poisoned and her life cut off in front of him. He couldn’t latch on to Brienne’s cold armor and make her feel his pain. Or his comfort. He had to let her go again. _Only for a few hours_ , he tried feebly to convince himself. Jaime would see Brienne again. Catelyn Stark was right. She was a greater knight than him. She had duties to uphold.

He nodded his head once. “Of course,” he replied. “I’ll be here.”

One beat. Two. Brienne broke their gaze after a slight wobble of her chin that Jaime didn’t miss. _She does understand!_ No tears. She had to go. She had another plea to make.

He watched her stalk away, Podrick Payne quick to follow. Jaime could feel Bronn turn to look at him, but he kept his eyes on Brienne’s back until she turned toward where the horses were tied. Then he glanced at Bronn, who stood there smirking. Jaime narrowed his eyes, ducked back into his tent and sunk onto a chair by the table.

 _Let her come back_ , he thought. _Let her come back and say the Blackfish had a change of heart._ Jaime wanted more time with her. Needed more time inhaling her scent, losing himself in her eyes. All the time. If she came back, he would tell her how incredible she was and pledge himself to her. They could ride out in the morning, after she got some rest, after he showered her with kisses all night, tracing every scar and bruise with his tongue and holding her in his bed. Jaime hadn’t slept as well as he did when Brienne was near. Even on the ground when they were captives, the sound of her breathing next to him was comforting.

It was suddenly so important to please her, the most natural thing to imagine giving her pleasure, and she was gone. Some day. He had to be released from the Kingsguard and convince Brienne he was sincere. Fighting for Sansa Stark would show her. _Sweet words. Gentle touches._ She should have that. Beneath that tough exterior, Brienne was a maid. Jaime remembered how she cried when they heard news of Catelyn Stark’s slaying. Seeing Brienne in his tent today made Jaime feel as though a piece of his heart was fit back into place. It had seemed shattered for decades, more and more as the years passed.

She let him hold her hand, placed his over her heart. Jaime imagined slipping it under her jerkin, caressing her skin, covering a breast with his palm. He remembered the bath at Harrenhal well. Her freckles. Her muscular thighs. Her small breasts. He had thought of their bath often enough, pictured being whole instead of missing his sword hand. Under different circumstances, Jaime would have wrapped Brienne in his arms and held her close. They could have scrubbed each other clean and kissed away all the hurt. _Why can’t we have that?_ He knew why. His horrible misdeeds. No matter what good he did, Jaime seemed destined for struggle.

“Eh,” Bronn interrupted. “Are you letting your lady fair cross enemy lines?”

Jaime grumbled. “She’s going to take a stab at reasoning with the Blackfish. She is a highborn lady and you will call her by her name.”

# # #

They did see each other later, though once again, they were moving away from each other when they locked eyes. Jaime was right. The Blackfish would rather die than flee North with Brienne and Pod. Not to help his niece. Not to save the lives of his men. Not to fight another day. He acknowledged Brienne’s claim, but couldn’t tear himself away from his own castle. It seemed he wanted to show up Ser Jaime just as much.

He sent them back to Sansa via a small boat. It reminded Brienne of the last time she was in a boat like this, flustered by Jaime’s constant insults, fearful of thieves, desperate to return to Kings Landing quickly. Pod was considerably quieter and more helpful than Jaime had been. Still, Brienne wished for him even more now. In the early morning darkness, the events of the day washed over her. Jaime had held her hand. _Why?_ Hope welled up inside Brienne. But he’d always been devoted to his sister. Could it be possible that he held affection for her? _No. We're friends. Nothing more._

With a heavy heart, she and Pod floated quietly down the river. She could hear the clash of swords and shouts of fighting men behind her. She dared not look, afraid her movement would draw attention from a Lannister soldier. But Pod nodded back toward the castle and she turned immediately.

Jaime stood silently atop the battlements, watching them drift away. It was so dark. What she wouldn’t give to be standing in front of him again. The Blackfish had insisted Jaime was her friend. Her instinct was always to deny it. That was easier to do with the Blackfish than it had been with Cersei. Brienne learned to dismiss the accusations after the first time his sister presented her with the truth. But she couldn’t deny them to herself. _Always wanting someone you can’t have_ , Brienne thought bitterly. Only now … something felt different, yet all too familiar.

Jaime raised his gold hand before she and Pod were too small to be seen. She raised her right, the same one he held today. She could still feel the pad of his thumb moving back and forth across the back of her hand. Brienne knew he understood why she had to go. But did he understand that she’d left her heart in that tent with him? Did it matter? Another memory for her to tuck away. This was harder than the last time they said goodbye. She turned away for fear that she’d start crying. _Stay alive._ A prayer for Pod and herself. And for Jaime. _Stay alive._


End file.
